I’m lying here in pain,
Struck down and at the lowest place.
Pain consumes my world,
And the more I think of the pain the worse it is.
Others just can’t imagine how pain can reduce your consciousness down.
But it seeps my brain, it fogs my awareness.
I long for the peace and relief of heaven,
Sometimes I just want to die and be done with it.
But I know that wouldn’t help those I love.
I remind myself constantly that I am here for them,
That they need me here, they need what I bring, they need my love.
I swing back and forth, the pain makes me feel worthless and useless,
But then I call to you,
Lord Jesus, crucified, betrayed, buried, descended into hell,
I call to you Jesus in my pain,
I remember that you not only bore humanity and frailty for me,
I remember that you still bear the pain with me,
I know that even when you seem far,
You are in fact the closest,
And the proof of this is your cross,
That God-forsaken tree of pain,
That place of shame where God could never possibly be,
Has been taken by your love,
And if you God, can be on the God-forsaken cross,
Then you can be with me in this pain.
Lord Jesus, I remember your love,
Lord Jesus, I remember your death,
Lord Jesus, I remember your resurrection.
And if you live, then I can live,
If you won, then I can win with you,
If you rose, then I can rise above this pain,
Because you promised to share your victory with me.
Lord Jesus, I trust you, I welcome your Holy Spirit.
I don’t understand this pain,
But I am yours to use,
So that even in this moment of helplessness,
I may live for others,
And share your self-giving love with the World.
Thank you Jesus,
That you share this pain,
And that I do not lie here alone.